Posted by Mara Hirschfeld in Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Therapy, Relationships 05 Jun 2016
Resilience. It’s such a powerful skill and something we learn when we’re coping with adversity and are faced with the choice to let go or to hold on. What do we do when we feel misunderstood, criticized, or disconnected from our partner? Do we let go in search for a love that will make us happy? Or do we hold on in the hopes that things will get better? Is it better for our kids to grow up with parents who stay married or two people who love them dearly, but aren’t fighting every day?
While these questions come up in session with my clients all the time, I don’t believe there is one “right” answer. Sometimes we definitely have to make the difficult choice to step away from a relationship that’s harmful, abusive, or making us feel like we’re not good enough. But there are other times in life when we have to make the choice to hold on. To lean in and offer to be there for our partners, even when their defense mechanisms may be pushing us away. Maybe it’s a new job, long distance, coping with loss or helping your partner through a mental or physical illness. Maybe it’s adapting to life as new parents, family conflict, or the many ups and downs of raising an adolescent. Whatever the challenge, we all need to know we matter and that we are not alone in our struggle. I encourage you to lean in and offer your support and love to help get you and your partner through the darkest of days. Maybe you’ll end up together. Maybe you won’t. But either way,you will BOTH come out stronger in the end.